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KiloVolt Toilet

28 Aug 2009
Progress: Concept

From the basement of a low-budget mad scientist (such as myself), the KiloVolt Toilet, at first glance, appears to be a standard toilet with a Van de Graaff generator duct taped to the top of it. A sign that reads, "Remove rubber shoes before use" hangs on the door.

Before the toilet lies a metal platform - a weighing scale, perhaps, decorated with gratuitous wires and crocodile clips. Our protagonist gingerly steps onto the podium, and the machine springs to life. Relays click, old fashioned diode valves light up and the belt drive whirs and crackles as it gets up to speed. The man's hair stands on end.

Commence pissing.

The charged urine flow repels itself and blasts apart into a fine mist. The other electrode is within the bowl of the toilet, so the tiny droplets are sucked down towards it where they condense and dribble away.

No fuss, no mess.

Unless of course something goes wrong, such as a 100,000 volt arc forming along the urine stream and giving your gentleman's area a tingle.